The Memory Thief by Colin Emily

Author:Colin, Emily [Colin, Emily]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction, C429, Extratorrents, Kat
ISBN: 9780345530394
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Published: 2012-02-15T13:00:00+00:00

Twenty-one

Madeleine

“That’s quite a story,” is all I can think to say when Aidan finishes speaking.

“So, do you hate me now?” he says, pushing himself up on his elbows and looking in the direction of the river. I can hear it below us, tripping over rocks and tumbling against the banks. He tries to sound casual, but he can’t quite pull it off. It’s as real in the dream as it was that night: the feel of the grass under my bare feet, the rush of the water, the brush of the wind against my skin. I feel the coming darkness like a weight.

“You’re not the one who did something terrible,” I say to Aidan, like I did then. “Your father is. Why would I blame you?”

“Because, Maddie. What if I’m a horrible husband? What if I’m just like him after all, underneath? I sure as hell was, that day. And you know the worst part? After all those years, there was something liberating about losing control like that. I think deep down … I liked it.” He drums his fingers on his knees so fast they are a blur.

“But nobody’s perfect, Aidan. And what your dad did, it was inexcusable. What were you supposed to do? Smile and go on like everything was fine? Not be mad at your dad for screwing over your entire family? Why wouldn’t you be upset with your mom, anyhow? She knew, and she did nothing. She didn’t even tell you the truth.”

“What if I’m no good?” he says, as if he hasn’t heard a word. He sits up in the grass and wraps his arms around his knees.

I shoot him a quizzical glance. “You’re good to me. Sure, you screwed up big-time once, but I’m not going to hold that over your head forever. Just because you made a couple of mistakes, that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Aidan is uncharacteristically silent and still, and when I look at him again, I see tears running down his cheeks. After a minute he puts his head down on his arms to hide his face.

I scoot a little closer to him and stroke his hair. “Hey,” I say. “It’s okay.”

He shakes his head under my hand.

“Everyone’s got some crazy shit in their past, Aidan. Maybe not quite as dramatic as this, I’ll give you that much. But everyone has something. You’re not responsible for what your family does. You’re just responsible for you.”

He makes a noise into his arm, like a laugh gone wrong. “Clearly you didn’t grow up in the military. You’re only as strong as your weakest link … which at the moment seems to be me. I’ve cried more since I met you than I have in the past ten years.”

Silence seems like the best policy, so I peer into the dark, petting his hair like he’s a small boy in need of soothing. There’s something hypnotic about the sound of the water crashing over the rocks, like it has for centuries or even millennia.

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